Making Deliveries
by ZigzagoonCutie
Summary: Will gets the job of delivering pizzas for Lance. How does this cause mass confusion at a funeral?


"Hey, get the phone!" I grumbled to myself that it always seemed like I was the one having to deal with the pissy customers on the phone, but I picked it up anyway.

"Hello, thanks for calling Lance's Hot Dough with Tomato Sauce and Cheese Pizzaria, my name is Will, and I will be taking your order today." I heard some chuckles on the other end and suppressed a groan.

"Hey there Will," Sabrina said with a slight giggle.

"Hi, what are you in the mood for today?" I asked, pulling out a pencil. She always had the most outrageous orders and I could never tell if she actually ate the pizza or if she was just trolling me.

"Well, I would like a medium pizza, with no sauce, and goat cheese instead of the normal cheese, with baby leeks, fungi, watercress, meatballs, crayfish, and pine nuts." I gagged at the thought and wondered why people would want half of that on a pizza even by itself, but I gave her the price and sent the order back to the chefs.

"Would that even fit on a medium pizza," Lorelei mused as she took some pizzas to the awaiting customers. I shrugged but Bruno said it would and I was confident in his abilities so I went with it.

"Hey Will," Lance, our boss and the owner, said, pulling me away from the cash register. "It's getting really busy here, and we need someone to deliver the pizzas."

"Why can't Koga do it?"

"Because he was needed to help out in the kitchen." I couldn't argue that one. I wasn't any good at making pizza, and Bruno and Lorelei were not to be trusted in vehicles. Karen was off today on vacation.

"Fine, I'll go," I said. Lance smiled and gave me a quick kiss before handing me the keys and sending me out with some pizzas. I had barely any experience delivering pizzas to people's homes but I figured I would just deliver them in the order they were stacked. The first address was on the other side of town, but I would just work my way back or something.

On the way there, I saw a funeral procession. I got stuck in-between some of the cars while making a turn, so now I was stuck going five miles per hour down a long empty road. I focused my pyschic energy. I would just teleport out of the procession. I wonder who died? No, I have to focus! When I finally connected with my powers, I teleported the whole car several miles ahead. I rounded a sharp turn and heard a clunk, but I paid it no mind. After that, it didn't take long to make it to the correct street.

"Hmm… this address seems familiar…" I made it to the house and got out to bring the pizza to the person living there. I rang the doorbell, but got no response. I rang again, but still got no response. I was about ready to leave when the door finally opened.

"Uncle Morty!" I squealed while giving the younger man a tight hug. It was a little awkward with the box of pizza in my hands, but I managed it anyway.

"Hi," Morty said sullenly, returning the hug.

"What's wrong, Uncle?" I asked, suddenly worried. He shook his head.

"Don't worry about it."

"But I wanna know! I wanna help!" I said, holding him tighter.

"No, really, please don't worry about it. You have other pizzas to deliver and I'm sure you are very busy at work." Well he did have a point. "Here." He handed over the money for the pizza and walked me out to my, well, Lance's, car.

"I'll see you later, we need to get together more often!" I exclaimed. He nodded and waved. I looked at the next box and groaned. It was the troll pizza. I took a left and drove to Sabrina's creepy house in the middle of the woods. It was especially creepy since it was dark out. I quickly ran to the door and opened it, getting inside as quick as possible. There were scary things out there.

"So you just let yourself in now," Sabrina said dryly. I would have apologized if her eyes didn't have that glimmer of suppressed mirth.

"Yup!" I said, handing her the troll pizza. "Animals are attracted to food, and I'm sure they can smell this nasty thing."

"It's not nasty," Sabrina defended, paying me for her pizza.

"Eat it." Sabrina didn't hesitate opening the box and pulling out a slice, stuffing it in her mouth and chewing slowly, savoring the flavors. I gagged. "Oh, I think I'm going to be sick!" I ran out of her house and puked outside. The smell of that pizza had my nose wrinkling in displeasure, but seeing someone eat it was too much.

I glanced up at my, Lance's, I had to keep correcting myself, car, and saw there was an animal trying to get in. "Oh shit…" Once the animal-bear- took notice of me it headed that way. I did the stupidest thing someone could do, and I ran towards my car-and it!

A blue glow enveloped the creature and it was frozen in spot. "You're welcome," Sabrina said from the doorway, one hand holding her pizza. I gagged again, but got in the car, waving to Sabrina.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I made it back to the main road, and drove to the next house. The door was opened by none other than Karen.

"Hey! I thought you were on vacation!" I yelled. It took me a second to realize something else. "Wait… this isn't your house!"

"It's mine," Clair said popping up next to Karen.

"Yeah, every trip to Clair's house is like a vacation," Karen said. I rolled my eyes.

"I would hardly call a sleepover a vacation, but whatever." I handed them their pizzas.

"Oh, did you hear?" Karen asked, always being one to gossip.

"No, what?"

"Falkner's father finally kicked the bucket, isn't that funny?"

"Funny?" I thought about it. No, Morty was my uncle, so Falkner's father was my Uncle's father-in-law! So he's kinda-not-really related to me.

"Yeah, their holding his funeral today!" That must be why Morty was so upset… but then why wasn't he at the funeral?

"I have to go!" I exclaimed, heading to Lance's car.

"What's his problem?" Clair asked. Karen just shrugged.

I drove quickly to Morty's house, and banged furiously on the door.

"What is it?" Morty asked.

"We've got to get you to Falkner's father's funeral… Hey that was an alliteration!" Morty face-palmed.

"I'm not going to his funeral…"

"Why not…?" Morty shuffled nervously.

"Falkner and I got into a fight…"

"So!? He needs you there with him right now!" I yelled. I drug Morty to my car and drove the way I had came. "What did you guys fight about?"

"I wanted a pet cat… but he said no because cats eat birds, but not all cats eat birds, you can teach them not to! But then cats shed, but we can't get a hairless one because he doesn't think their cute, and-what's that?" Morty whipped his head around trying to look at something we passed.

"I didn't see anything."

"No wait, go back!" I put the car in reverse, thanking Arceus that this was not a busy street, as I was swerving all over the place trying to go backwards around the turn.

"Eww, it's just a dead animal," I said gesturing to a pile of something. There was blood all over the road, I could see that in my headlights, but since the animal was pushed to the side of the road, I couldn't see it very well. Poor thing.

I continued driving toward the funeral, and pulled in. I grabbed the flashlight from the passenger door and then got out of the car. Morty followed me to where the rest of the people were gathered. Many of them had looks of shock on their faces.

"Hey Falkner," Morty said, walking up to the blue-haired male, "What's wrong?"

"M-my f-f-father is, is… Oh Morty!" Falkner buried his face in Morty's chest. "He's gone!"

"I know, but he will always be watching over you."

"No, you don't understand. His, his body! It's gone!" I looked surprised. His body disappeared?

"No!" I exclaimed. "That's a good thing! That means he's alive and he got out of the coffin!"

"No, he's dead," the preacher said walking over. "We left the casket open right until we left. He was still in there when we headed over here, but he disappeared during the car trip. He didn't jump out, someone would have seen him.

"But then how would his body be pulled out? You would see if someone did it!"

"I think he disappeared like the pizza car in front of me!" A woman screamed.

"Car's don't disappear," the preacher said sternly. "And neither do bodies." I gulped, finally putting the pieces together.

"Hey, Morty, can we go?" I asked.

"No, we have to find out what happened!" He yelled.

"Why do you want to leave?" asked Falkner suspiciously.

"Ah, haha, n-no reason," I said. I yanked Morty's arm and pulled him back to the car and started it up. Falkner chased after us.

"Where are you going!?" he yelled. I drove off.

"No seriously, are you-did you get stuck in the funeral procession?" I laughed sheepishly and nodded my head.

"Yeah, I think I know where the body went." I pulled up to the 'animal' from earlier. The 'animal' was right where I had teleported to…

"Let's just… call it a freak accident," Morty said, pulling out his phone and calling Falkner. He got out of the car.

"Yeah, I'm just, I'm just going to head back to work." I looked at the clock, the shop closed in ten minutes. Morty nodded and I left.

Well, I'm definitely getting fired. I flung a dead body off the top of the car while at work… I'd get fired for murder… but he was already dead… I'd get fired for kidnapping! I'd…

"Will, you're fired." Lance said, glaring angrily at the door.

"I'm sorry! It wasn't on purpose! I swear I didn't mean to kidnap him!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Isn't that why you're firing me?"

"I'm firing you because you didn't deliver all of those pizzas!" Lance said pointing three boxes of cold pizza sitting in the car. "Koga had to remake them _and _go and deliver them and we got all backed up."

"Oh…" That was a lame reason to get fired.

"Now what were you saying about kidnapping?"

"Well it's a long story…"


End file.
